Proper 17C, 2025

Text: Luke 14:1-14

Title: Shame and Honor

+ INI +

Do you feel shame?

Is shame an emotion or experience that is a part of your life?

We don’t often talk about shame in our culture. We teach our kids to always be proud of themselves.  People post all sorts of things on social media without a sense of shame.

But as much as we try to erase it, shame is a real emotion for all of us.

Shame was a huge part of the culture in biblical times, and shame plays a big role in understanding both our Old Testament and Gospel lessons today.

What is shame?

We often confuse guilt with shame or we put them together “guilt and shame” as though they are two words for the same thing.

They are not.  Guilt and shame are different

Shame has to do with your reputation, your standing in the community, and what other people think of you.

Especially in cultures where everyone is basically poor, or doesn’t have much wealth to speak of, sometimes, all you have is your reputation, your good name, your status. 

When you do something wrong, when you sin in a public way that other people notice, that can certainly bring shame upon you and knock you down a few pegs in other people’s eyes.

But shame is more than that.  Often shame comes when you haven’t done anything wrong, where you have nothing to feel guilty about, but you still feel bad.

If you ever feel guilty when you know you haven’t done anything wrong, chances are, that’s shame that you’re feeling and not guilt.

For example, let’s say you have a disability. And that disability is something obvious to other people, and it requires you to need a little help from time to time with everyday tasks.  You aren’t independent, and so you have to rely on people around you for assistance.

It’s not your fault.  You haven’t done anything wrong.  And still you feel bad about inconveniencing others.  You may even think of yourself as a burden.  You feel somewhat lower than all the “normal” people because you can’t fit in or keep up.  That’s shame.

Or let’s say you’re not as financially well-off as most of the people around you.  You have enough to live on, but you can’t afford the same new clothes or a new car or the newest and best electronics everyone else has. 

It’s not your fault.  You know that you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to others and that possessions aren’t the most important thing in life.  Still, you feel somewhat lower than all the “normal” people because you can’t fit in or keep up.  That’s shame.

Or let’s say your family doesn’t always behave the way they should.  Your uncle gets drunk at parties and tells racist jokes.  Your adult children don’t attend church any more and your grandkids aren’t baptized.

It’s not your fault.  These are adults who are responsible for their own life choices and behavior.  But you can’t help comparing your family to all those other families out there where everyone seems to get along and be well-behaved.  You feel like a failure.  You feel somewhat lower than all the “normal” people because you can’t fit in or keep up. That’s shame.

Got it?

The opposite of shame is honor.  This means having a good reputation, people thinking highly of you, respecting you, valuing your opinion.

Sometimes you gain honor by your own actions, by doing the right thing, by being generous, by an outstanding accomplishment. We talk about people graduating with honors, being honored with a place in the hall of fame, or being granted the Congressional Medal of Honor.

In the end, you cannot bestow honor on yourself. If you try to, that’s one of the quickest way to bring shame.  

Honor comes from others, from the outside, from a person or organization that already has honor, and then chooses to recognize you and bestow that honor on you by associating with you.

Top man for bestowing honor is the king, of course, which connects with the Old Testament reading, or, in Jesus’ parable, the host of the party.

In both cases, the message is clear.  Don’t exalt yourself.  Don’t try to take the place of honor for yourself.

Instead, wait for the one with the honor to exalt you, to honor you with a higher, better spot.

Now, it may seem like Solomon and Jesus are just talking about etiquette and common sense, like a time when you gave your kids a quick lesson on how to behave at a formal dinner.

But it’s more than that, of course.

The folks like the Pharisees had all the honor in their time and place.  They got the best seats at the parties.  People looked to them for leadership and advice.  And they used their positions to enrich themselves.

Those who were disabled, those who were poor, those who had unsavory occupations, they were the ones who had all the shame. They got the worst spots, if they were invited at all.  They were shunned and avoided.

Jesus came to reverse all of that, to turn this system of honor and shame on its head.

Ultimately, the only source of honor is God himself. What matters is your standing in His eyes.

What does God think of you?  Do you have a place in His presence?

The Pharisees would say, “Yes!” and point to all their good deeds.  But in the end, they rejected Jesus, God in the flesh. 

The sick and the poor and all the sinners would say, “No! I don’t deserve a place.” But then they looked to Jesus, who was a friend of sinners.

This great reversal that Jesus is talking about is not just a matter of flipping the structure of society on its head, some great social revolution to empower the poor and give the rich and powerful what’s coming to them.

This great reversal is solely a matter of how you treat Jesus.  How you receive Him.  If you are a friend of Jesus, you will be honored.  If you are an enemy of Jesus, you will be shamed.

We will not experience this great reversal in this lifetime, at least not in society as a whole.

Jesus was shamed to the point of His death on the cross.  The cross was not just a method of physical torture.  The cross was an instrument of shame.  You were hung naked outside the city for people to insult and verbally abuse, bringing shame on you and shame on your family and shame on all those who associated with you. 

Jesus’ shame ran even deeper.  God the Father, the source of all honor and glory cut Him off from His presence.  The shame that Adam and Eve brought on our race, and all the shame that we have brought on ourselves was borne by Jesus in His shameful death on the cross.

In this life, you will be shamed by people around you for associating yourself with Jesus.  They may try to shame you for openly and boldly living out your faith.

But in the end, at the great wedding banquet, the party of all parties that will never end, Jesus will say to you, “Friend, come up higher.”

You will be His honored guest.  Your shame will be gone, taken away forever, because you are a friend of the King, a friend of the bridegroom, the host of the party.

Even here and now Jesus says to you (even those of you sitting all the way in that very back pew), “friend, come up higher.” Take the place of honor here at His table as a preview of what that feast will be like. 

Perhaps you’ve come here today feeling a bit of shame. Perhaps it’s because of choices that you’ve made that you’re not proud of.  Perhaps your body doesn’t work the way it should, and you feel ashamed that you can’t work and serve and help others the way you once did.  Perhaps your family is a mess and you don’t think you fit in here.

To you, today, Jesus says, “Come up higher.” You are an honored guest at my banquet. You belong here.  You are my friend.  One day I will return.  I will raise you from the dead, from the pits and depths of your shame, and you will share in the glory and honor that has been mine eternally.

And so, when you come across those who are shamed by the rest of our society, those who are the least and the lowest, and the outsiders, extend to them the same honor Jesus shows to you.  Invite them to your parties, include them at your table in the cafeteria.  These are Jesus’ sorts of people.

He has come to exalt the humble, to say to you, “Friend, come up higher.”